Surely You're Crazy

And now, for your dumping pleasure, my esteemed colleague The Cap'n offers up a guest blog just for you:

Who the fuck do you even think you are? Assbag. Look here's the deal, I'm way sick of assjerks talking all sorts of shit. So I have a new policy of random curse dispersal. How does it work? Good question fuckbeans. Basically I'm gonna walk around spewing swears, slurs and racial epithets at random. If you get hit, sorry tardnuts, maybe you shouldn't have been such an arrogant prick. Walking around, thinking you're so sweet. I've got news for you, you can get busy on these nuts. Which brings me to my other new policy: nut business. That's where I inform anyone who's listening that I don't mind them getting real busy on my balls. My balls are just hanging around all day while I'm at work, waiting for some assfaced jerk, who thinks he/she knows something, to stop posturing and just get down on their knees and work my nuggets in a counter clockwise direction. Starting with... you. Ya bastich. You think you're better than me? I'm the fuckin' Cap'n. I've got a chip on my shoulder half as big as my dick and it's making it hard to walk. So I'm spreading the love. Come get some bitches, the Cap'n always makes it fuckin' happen.