A Cougar on the Prowl

Ladies and Gentlemen - I am proud to announce that I am finally dead. How am I dead and still writing this blog, you ask?

I was stalked and killed by an Urban Cougar.

For the uneducated, here's a short definition of an Urban Cougar.

URBAN COUGAR (n) : An older woman, typically early thirties to mid-forties, who has abandoned traditional rules of romantic engagement and taken as her mission the seduction of as many game young men as she can possibly handle.

Best. Night. Ever.

One can also spot an Urban Cougar in the wild by looking for these telltale markings.

- Push-up Bra
- Preference for Track Lighting
- Late model Audi or BMW
- Eagerness to discuss the album "Pyromania"
- White Zinfandel

To all you young men out there my age, do yourself a favor and find a cougar IMMEDIATELY. To all the cougars out there, I'm an easy kill.

Thanks for visiting the Pay Toilet.
I hope everything came out alright.

- Johnny Stee